Making Friends with Hegel and Marx

It’s been a week since our last Skype call. Yeah, fine, one week might not seem like much, and I’m really busy, too. Amidst my being busy, though, Faith’s always at the back of my mind.

I’ve been reading some 400 pages of philosophy for my course just this week alone (and no, I’m not done for the week yet). Every now and then, in between the confusing lines, my mind will wander off to him, to us in the past, to our near future.

I’m doing well, really, at least way better than I thought I would. I’m somehow still managing taking three additional classes two weeks into the semester. I even went swimming and met some friends over dinner. No crying, too. I guess this is the kind of status quo that I will be living in. I’m living well, yet there’s always this longing inside me to eventually come home to him.

I did hear from Faith a couple of times. At first it was a message a day, and when internet was not readily available, an SMS, too. That made my morning 🙂

I’m still expecting a letter. It’s probably been around two weeks since it was sent, but it’s not here yet. I hope it will reach soon. I kept thinking about it that I had a dream I received 2 postcards and 3 long letters from him in the mail -_-”

I had dinner alone at a small restaurant on campus. Usually, eating alone is really alright with me. After I chose my seat, though, I immediately regretted my choice, as a couple went to sit next to me. Heh. It was okay, I just read news. It didn’t affect me much tonight, but I’d still rather avoid being alone next to lovey dovey couples.

In this relationship, I’m more happy than anything else. There’s all the longing, but I’m really grateful to have met him. My self-confidence seemed to have regrown a little, too. Insecurity will be defenestrated! Ooh I love that word. It just means “throwing someone, or in my case, something, out of the window.” It’s like one of the most exact, precise English word I know.

I can’t wait till December! Before that, I have to make sure I work hard and pass all my modules, so that I can really enjoy my time there and come back to Indo as a graduate, and don’t have to take an extra semester.

Uuugh. I read around 100 pages of Hegel earlier, and there are still some 35 pages of Marx to be read tonight…X.X

By the way, I’m starting to really love my choice of name, Hope. When I chose it, I knew that it would be something that I need, yet it was something I couldn’t really feel at that time. Taking it up as a name actually helps to get it ingrained in me, and these days I’m as hopeful as I ever were, about Faith and me, and even about my perilous journey to graduation, hahaha.



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