Panic Mode

I just withdrew myself from one committee responsibility.

I’m still doing fine, in terms of workload. There’s a lot to catch up on, still, after missing two weeks of three modules, due to dean’s office fault. I thought I would have time for other things, but as of now, I can’t afford to have too many of those “other things”.

In terms of lecture readings, I’ve caught up with everything, a feat I am actually kind of proud of myself 😛 Catching up with 500-600 pages of philosophy and political thought readings within 5 days wasn’t something I thought I could do. Well, I have to sustain it. I will normally have around 200-300 pages of readings per week, and on top of that, I have to prepare for tutorials as well. Being very stress-prone, I try to just look at all these things I have to do step by step. Things start to look overwhelming, but I won’t achieve anything by panicking and being too stressed.

OK I’M PANICKING. I have things to do almost the whole of tomorrow, how can I finish my work during the weekend? AAAAH.

Ok panicking mode off. -_- I can still withdraw from another commitment tomorrow, but…if I withdraw from so many, and only study, that’s no life either.

Another thing that actually made me start evaluating whether or not I should start withdrawing myself from commitments: my headaches were coming back. I used to have them almost every day, but it has been better the past year. These days, having only been able to go to bed past midnight after I’m done with my work, I’ve been getting more headaches than usual, and they’re the strong, persistent kind, that it makes me wonder if I’m simply too tired. As I’m typing, I’m still having what I call “leftover headache” – the subdued headache I have after taking paracetamol, that will linger for some hours before (hopefully) fading away, usually after a good night’s sleep or a swim.

Since I have so much to do…maybe I should go and have my dinner, and then start working on something.

Faith is coming back home tomorrow! Not to me, but to where there’s internet, so that’s good :p I try not to rely on him too much on my mind as my motivation, because I have to learn to be strong on my own without external motivation, but it’s hard not to see him as the light in the darkness (“stress”) that comes creeping towards me.



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