The Plateau

I’m currently on what I term “the plateau”. It’s what I’ve decided to call this state of ginormous reluctance to do anything productive, before I get to speak to Faith -.- It’s happened a few times now, and it’s happening now. Sometimes I just let myself be, and wait until I get to speak to him, before resuming normalcy. It did happen before, though, that I just forced myself to continue studying despite my total lack of motivation, and I got quite some work done.

I’ll just let myself be this time :p

Seventy seven days before I can finally physically hug him 🙂

Seeing Oslo on TV is a strange feeling. I was there. That was my city of revival. That was where I went after leaving Faith behind, where I felt really down and desperate, forced myself to travel, didn’t get to do much, sulked, let myself be drowned in sorrow, and then….recovered, went out and randomly got to know someone new, and actually enjoyed myself. It’s still painful remembering those days, but I’m proud that I made a comeback and did not get utterly destroyed.

Actually, one of the fears I have in meeting Faith again is that there will be one more goodbye to say at the end. That sounds silly, I know. We will have so much more time together, making memories together, and I’m still scared of the goodbye that follows, but really, I loathe feeling the way I felt back then. It would probably not be as bad, now that I know what it’s like, it’s no longer fear of the unknown. Plus, we would see each other again sooner than this time round :’)

I just have to chill and let myself be down. I’ve learned that letting myself be down for a while actually helps. Always wanting to be up and doing something productive is actually making life unnecessarily more stressful.

Soooo…down-time, as I wait and see if Faith will come online! 🙂

Love,
Hope

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